Sunday, August 07, 2005

Just Surviving Today

Last night my dreams were nothing but a series of images from the past, sort of like in movies when they depict a person life flashing before their eyes just before death. I wonder if that really happens. So many things I wish I could go back in time and change. I wish I hadn't spent so much time away from home working and on the road.

It is funny, all the little things you seem to forget about after a time. All those little things, like roses for no reason, moonlight walks along a beach, or just sitting in a dark room curled up with your girl in front of a fireplace watching the flames dance and enjoying the moment, or even just a nice long night time drive with the windows rolled down with no destination in mind, just driving and being together.

I tried to take my mind off things and made a trip to 2 stores to look at cell phones as soon it will become my only phone number, but the sales people were worthless. They couldn't answer even simple questions as to if the phones were All Digital or Tri-Mode, much less anything else.

So I came back here, and all I can do is think. I am pretty sure this is what it is like to lose ones mind, but I can't do anything about it.

Tomorrow I will start packing everything but the essentials. I will buy some paper plates and such so I can start packing my dishes. Got to remember to buy some bubble wrap for that.

I have been trying to get a hold of Stephanie for a few days, but she hasn't been home or returned any of my emails or been online. I think her and her mom went to look at new houses in Oregon but I am not sure. Or she might just be avoiding me, LOL, who knows anymore. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day as I will have something to do.

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