Just Another SpeedBump

Well yesterday I talked to Stephanie and she agreed to at least meet me to get the business stuff done either tomorrow or Wendsday. I asked if during this visit, the first since she left me via phone call (yea, that one still bugs the hell out of me, after 12 years I think I deserved better than that), we could have a little heart to heart talk over lunch but she has not responded to that yet. This feels like an ugly, and bitter divorce. Still don't know what I did to deserve this treatment, but when your already down on the ground and being kicked, what is the difference between 3 kicks and 5, just a few more, right?

Today I tried to get a copy of the police report from my accident back in 2002. To my surprise, even though I verified that they supposedly had the report over the phone, once in person I find out they can't find the report. So I am SOL on that, I have a call into the 2 recruiters about this problem but I won't be able to get an answer back till tomorrow.

AS promised, I said that if I received comments I would post them. Well I got one in today.

Hello, let me start out by saying I love your blog. I was on vacation last week, so I had to catch up.

I understand you are hurting and I'm sorry. I told my wife about your blog about trucking, or soon to be anyway. I mentioned what you are going through and her comment was....now don't shoot the messenger, but maybe Steff doesn't want you to be gone so much??? She wants someone that will be there every night. I want to drive a truck sooo bad, but she said this about me as well.

Second issue. Aren't you afraid that trucking companies will be reading this and be concerned the way you feel that you may be a risk to them (Liable) while driving their truck?

I have to admit, you don't sound to stable right now.

Your thoughts?

Kevin in Texas

Thanks for writing Kevin in Texas, and maybe your wife is right. I just don't know as I haven't been able to get any real answers from Stephanie. She has stated before that my being gone was not an issue, but I am not sure what I belief anymore. The last 2 months have been so far out in left field and out of character for her, if I didn't know better I would say she hired a script writer or a coach to tell her what to say to any of my questions. I have a good idea of where this thinking of hers is comming from, but if she wants to allow herself to be manipulated by this person there is nothing I can do or aparently say to prevent it. All I can do is try to make her understand how serious I am about her and having a life with her and hope that it is good enough. Hopefully when I actually get a chance to talk to her, we can sort some of this out, but until then there is nothing more I can do.

With regard to what trucking companies think. You make a valid point, and I can't say I am exactly in my right mind right now. On the same token I would never do anything that would bring harm to someone else in me dealing with my own issues. In another way I am kind of glad that I am able to express the way I feel from one moment to the next instead of bottling it up inside me. Sort of like therapy without all the cost. Aside from that, I am not really sure how to address that statement.

BTW, tell your wife thank you for the female insight perspective, and to feel free to share any others that she or you may have. Thanks for writing!