Thursday, September 08, 2005

Moving Forward? Maybe.

While Stephanie and I had a fight on Tuesday I am not sure it was a bad thing. Last night we were able to have a very good talk and it might be the breakthrough that we both need to establish where we go from here, and allow us to both move on. While I am excited at this possibility it is still up to her to embrace it. I have found , at least for myself anyway, that acceptance seems to come and go. I can accpet my new roll in things, but it only lasts for so long. Without the ability to embrace that newley accepted roll, I find that it quickly fades and have a hard time holding on to it. It is sorta of like my mind makes these things a limited time offer, either everyone gets on board or the offer expires and I and left grasping at straws once again.

Tonight I will find out if Stephanie and I are going to meet for the first time since our break up. I had asked if we could meet on Friday, get business done and have a simple lunch. Nothing more, nothing less. They say a journey of a 1,000 miles begins with the first step. I hope that I will finally be able to take that fist step to moving on.

Pretty soon I will be forced to travel back to Wisconsin to get my license updated with my hazmat endorsement, and powers that be willing, I will be able to get the paperwork and other things ndone that I need to with Stephanie so I can finish my long application process to getting a driving job. Once I start working things will be much easier. I will not have all this idle time on my hands and hopefully will be able to establish where Stephanie and I stand. (knocks on wood)

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