Waiting

One thing that seems to always happen with any plan, is somewhere along the way it gets screwed up and most of the time your not the one who screwed it up! I put my truck into the shop on Saturday night for repairs on Monday so I could return to work on Tuesday, However I now have 2 dispatchers that work shifts and my new dispatcher failed to put my truck into the repair system. When I called yesterday to make sure all repairs were made and that my truck was ready, I find out that it was never put into the system so no repairs were made. I will call this afternoon to check and see if my truck is repaired so I can goto work on Wensday.

This return to work will be a long run for me I hope, unless the company forces me to take time off. I am finding that I have less and less of a desire to come off the road than I have in the past. Maybe I am just trying to lose myself in my work, and forget that the rest of the world even exists. Maybe that will be easier, but will that work or just exasperate things even further? Not really sure what I will do if it doesn't work, seems like the more I try to let go and move on with things, the more thinking I do and the worse it gets. But, at least this way I won't be bothering anyone. I have been finding harder and harder to let Steph go in my mind like she asked me to, I suppose if I can't do that my only other option to give her what she wants is to just walk away and disappear. Not really something I want, but then what I want rarely seems to matter in the grander scheme of life in general.