As I was saying in my back dted post, things have gotten interesting and confusing. I know, I keep talking about things and havent taken the time to explaine what it is that I am talking about. Sorry. It is hard to find the time and place to be able to type all this.
I am coping with the loss of my mom pretty well, keeping busy helps allot. The things with Steph however get more difficult nd have left me very confounded. After the week we spent together after my moms death, we told eachother that the time was what it was and ment nothing more. And as much as I want to convince myself that that really was the case, I really don't think it was. There are times that I feel I am really getting through to her, that she is really listening to what I am saying, where she is being honest with herself and her feelings. It is these short rare times that I think part of her really wants to drop everything and say "Lets try again", but those moments are so very short before she is forced back into the lie she is living, I doubt that will happen.
Don't get me wrong, I am not bashing her by that in anyway. We all live a lie in one respect or another, either to ourselfs or toward others. But there is a difference, some do it because they have to, others do it because they are to scared of reality not to. As for myself, I think I fall right in the middle of the two.
Well I just dropped my load in Birmingham, Alabama and am off to grab a bite to eat and pick up a load going back to Wisconsin by Saturday. I am nearly out of hours and am completly exausted, but the road is now my life and the only thing I got, so back to 18 wheel lover and home, the white line!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment