Goodbye Mom

Time: It always amazes me how we always feel like we have more time, we put things off to the last minute then rush when were out of time. But sometimes things in life catch us off guard. They happen suddenly and without much warning, and before you know it, the moment is gone forever.

My mom died on Saturday April 28th, 2006 at the age of 61. I wasn't able to get a load and get home in time. Once again I was a day late and a dollar short. While I am sure my mom knew that I did everything reasonable to get home in time, I find I am deeply troubled by my inability to do so, more than I would like to admit.

My Dad and my Sister are taking her death much better than I am, but I suppose that is because they were with her from the very start, while I was breaking every rule in trucking over 1,500 miles away trying to get to her side. Because of this, I think they were able to make their peace and come to terms with the fact that she would die, where I really didn't.

I was schuleded to deliver my load tomorrow, however the company was able to find a driver to deliver it for me. I am very thankfully for this, as I haven't had more than 4 hrs of sleep a night for the last 4 days, and I am really not in the proper state of mind to be driving.

Normally I am the strong one in these type of matters, the rock that everyone else turns to for support. It has been this way for as long as I can remember, but now I find myself on the other side of the fence.

I will write more later.